Convictions while reading...

Crazy Love by Francis Chan. My brother described this book as a softer, easy-to-read Hard to Believe by John MacArthur; but tho this is less 'theological', it is in no way less convicting. Chan, like MacArthur, cuts through the heart of "easy-believism" to emphasize the Christianity that Christ emphasized: a whole-hearted, self-sacrificing "crazy" by the world's standards, life pursuit.

I just finished Crazy Love with only a few hours of reading time, but for me this book should be read slowly, with each idea and conviction meditated on, compared to scripture, & personalized. I've read too far already to go back and comment on every 'aha' moment while reading (you're welcome), but I'll try to hit some of the big ones to lure you into reading this for yourself.

In Jonathan Edwardsian style, Chan advocates focusing on & loving God solely for Who He is, not just for what He does for us. Instead of one-way prayers/relationships where we talk at God (guilty), we bring Him more glory and know Him better by striving to know more about Him and His will. Seems sooo easy when put logically like that! :)

The book gets pretty "crazy" convicting, showing me that even though I've considered myself a passionate pursuer of Christ, I still shamefully fit the "profile of the lukewarm" in many aspects, which calls me and all readers to further examine themselves. Even tho a person is not saved by his works, the Bible teaches that actions will surely follow a true conversion; and thus Chan concludes, "A lukewarm Christian is an oxymoron; there’s no such thing. To put it plainly, churchgoers who are lukewarm are not Christians. We will not see them in heaven” (81). Chan quotes Fredric D. Huntington's 1890 observation: "It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity." Bingo. We've bought the lie that God is here to make us happy, healthy, rich, comfortable, etc., when nothing could be further from the truth; when we seek those things over God, we are ultimately miserable, dead, poor, and in agony. I caught myself today praying for the physical healing of my mom, my husband's shoulder, my abnormal exhaustion, blah blah blah, and of course we are to cast our cares and anxieties on Him, but should I not then pray that His will be done in everything and for the sanctification of us through our trials instead of just the removal of them?

Instead of striking a deal with God for our "Best Life Now," we should pray that God give us opportunities to procure our best life later, which when you think about it, you'd better know what you're asking for because you just might get it. My dad used to jokingly say, "Be careful when you pray for patience, because patience is the product of trial." In other words, as Jesus warned, we must count the cost of discipleship: be willing and ready to sacrifice all this world has to offer, so that you may gain Christ and His riches. The problem with most "Christians" is that they want all the benefits of the club without paying the dues, i.e., that suffering likens us to Christ (which is the point).

The chapter that made me decide to stop reading and think & write is chapter 8: "Profile of the Obsessed." The idea lingering from chp. 7 was "we are each given different gifts and talents by our Master. The thing that matters most is how we use what we have been given, not how much we make or do compared to someone else. What matters is that we spend ourselves." Spend yourself. The picture in my mind is of the Lombardi quote about laying on the battle field, exhausted, but victorious. I think about all the hours over my lifetime I've completely poured myself out in some athletic or educational endeavor. What if I had shown God the kind of devotion I had shown golf, basketball, or English? Sheesh. Or even the kind of devotion I still show my body: in the gym, doing my turbo jam, correcting my image in the mirror? This is getting to be horrifying!

Those obsessed with Christ are "excessively preoccupied" and consumed with glorifying God and sharing His love with other people. To be honest, I can be pretty consumed with God on an intellectual, emotional, and personally spiritual level. Anyone who knows me knows I'm kind of weird (and almost alienating) about it, but do I reach out to others in a way that honors the One I adore? Chan stresses, "People who are obsessed with Jesus give freely and openly, without censure... love those who hate them and who can never love them back... aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort... live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another... are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo... will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth... know that you can never be 'humble enough,' and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known... do not consider service a burden... take joy in loving God by loving His people... genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world... orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them... characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being... do not attempt to mask the ugliness oftheir sins or their failures... have an intimate relationship with Him... more concerned with his or her character than comfort... know that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his Savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying 'Thank you!' to God."

So that was the longest quote ever, but this chapter covered many characteristics and outward displays of a person crazily devoted to our Lord. Some of these I'm chosing to specifically pray for myself in, especially " do not consider service a burden." I want a heart more focused on the joy of loving others and serving them, following God's second greatest commandment: "love your neighbor as yourself." I've been frustrated lately feeling like I'm constantly giving, when I should be constantly giving, but out of joy and love, not obligation and angst. I pray that God changes my heart in this (and I'm also looking for practical pointers also!).

Chan gives many encouraging (yet humbling) examples of people who sacrificed everything in order to 'spend it all' for the Lord. But just when the reader is at the point of complete paralyzed overwhelmation, he comforts with baby steps: "I concur with Annie Dillard, who once said, ' How we live our days is... how we live our lives.' We each need to discover for ourselves how to live this day in faithful surrender to God as we 'continue to work out [our] salvation with fear and trembling' (Phil. 2:12)." Therefore my goal is each day to be eternally minded, to focus on joyfully giving to others, keeping in mind what God gave to me.

If only I could tatoo or create some constant hologram reminder... :)

What will you do today this day?

Review of David Copperfield

I just finished this gem of a novel, David Copperfield, which most say is extremely autobiographical of Charles Dickens's life, and I am more than ever entranced by his playful, yet thoughtful, and overall masterfully observant writing style. I set out on this 729 page work because I teach the masterpiece, A Christmas Carol, to my 8th graders, and I wished to dive deeper into the world of the artist (see my blog on A Christmas Carol from last year, if you'd like).

What intrigues me about Dickens is, as T.S. Eliot accounted, "Dickens's figures belong to poetry, like figures of Dante or Shakespeare, in that a single phrase, either by them or about them, may be enough to set them wholly before us." I would add that not only the poetic detail his characterizations, but also in his scenery, sets him above any author I know of in crafting a picture in the reader's mind. Of what I've read, his works are not the deepest-delving into the human psyche, but his way with words is truly masterful and beautiful to behold.

What intrigues me most about David Copperfield itself, though, is a pristine retrospect of a narrator who has incurred many hardships in life. Through his accound of being orphaned, abused, and abandoned as a child, David the narrator maintains a light, witty tone while not downplaying his tribulations. For example, the reader finds himself simultaneously laughing and crying at his nurse's buttons popping off her dress from hugging him too hard when David's loathsome stepfather sends him away to school against the wishes of his broken and dying mother. This story further accounts David's tragedies, one after another, but never in a self-pitying or self-exalting tone. On the contrary, through all the sad circumstances and heartbreaks, the narrator continually keeps his spirit light and his eyes uplifted. Some critics claim this hopeful optimism makes the "autobiography" of David Copperfield unrealistic, but I think it accounts for something worth praising: joy in the midst of sorrow. The narrator, in hindsight, sees that all worked together for good in his life, and thus he doesn't have to soak the despairing times of which he writes with even more doom and gloom.

This light-hearted and joyful outlook speaks to me, as of course this book has to many others, in its innocence and good-humor. The idea that even hard times work together for a person's good is a very Christian concept, and that is captured in this novel, along with self-sacrificing love and redemption. I'm pretty sure Dickens was not a Christian, and I'm pretty sure that that's why this "child-like" love of truth and beauty is not found in his darker later novels, which is very tragic indeed. Dickens considered David Copperfield his favorite work, and I can see why. This beautiful coming-of-age story, or bildungsroman, portrays the intellectual, social, and moral growth of a man, who learns to love prudently and fervently, to care and work for the best in others, and live life with passion. As David (or, better yet, Dickens) states, "whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that, in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest" (507). May this be truly said of all of us. :)